Chapter 4
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Last part of Chapter 4.
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This is going to be a long chapter, BTW.
Chapter 1: The Time of the Beginning
Translation of prologue of volume 15
Note: This is the story in the artbook.
Title translation: One Day, in the Forest of Sakura
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“When Heaven is about to confer a great office on someone…”
An alluring, snow-white, slender arm poured wine soundlessly into his empty cup.
“‘it shall certainly first exercise their mind with suffering, and their sinews and bones with toil,’ right?”
“Indeed. You are learned. As to be expected of Kochou of the Kogarou.”
Kochou smiled. Within her overflowing seductiveness, today there appeared something almost girlish about her.
“‘To those humans upon whom heaven has chosen to entrust a great task, it first thoroughly makes them suffer in both mind and body while they labor.’ And thus through this harsh tempering, their ability increases, and their power to fulfill their task rises. This is so that finally Heaven can make use of those humans as it pleases. For the humans, they are to be pitied, for suffering mysterious calamities.”
Suddenly, something indigo flashed into Kochou’s field of vision. She was startled by the beautiful butterfly, with its glossy black wings splashed with splotches of indigo and crimson. She had seen them countless times. When these butterflies appeared, a little before or after that, Anju also often disappeared, as if chasing them. Sometimes she did not see him for several years.
Anju gazed at the butterfly fluttering in the corner of the room. His expression became just slightly more serious.
“Kochou. Have you heard about what kind of butterflies those are?”
Kochou, surprised, took awhile to respond. Many men had finally let down their guard, while resting on the soft skin of the courtesan, but he alone was an exception. Even Ran-sama had relaxed, but while he would smile mischievously, he would give her nothing of his true self. However, right now she believed that he was not simply passing time. There was no reason for this belief, just her intuition as a woman.
“Before, I had heard that they were the butterflies that carried souls…”
“Yes. I have also heard that from people. When these butterflies are caterpillars, they eat over three thousand times their weight in leaves. However, these aren’t ordinary leaves. Day after day, they eat strong poison.”
Anju did not look at Kouchou; his gaze only followed the black butterfly. It was as if rather than talking to her, he was remembering some conversation he had had in the past.
“Because they have eaten a lot of poisonous leaves, they store a great quantity of poison within their bodies. And having done that, if they’re eaten by a frog or something, the frog will react to the poison and spit them right out. Even though these worms don’t have wings, they have knowledge that can increase their chances of surviving. They eat poisonous leaves, so that they can kill others, and become butterflies. In the struggle to survive, they can’t get by just by being beautiful.”
…It seemed to Kochou as if Anju were talking about himself.
Doing whatever it took to survive. Underneath the lovely, elegant wings. Worms that ate poisonous leaves, and became beautiful butterflies.
However, the butterfly simply lightly danced about, not showing a smidgen of this astounding past.
“Once the butterflies are able to fly, they travel from the north to the south, to Ran Province. They fly along with the sun, and rest along with it. It seems they can’t stand the cold.”
Although they couldn’t move when it was cold, even when it was warm, they could become sick and die, he said.
“When the butterflies arrive in Ran Province, out of the tens of thousands that started the trip, only some tens are left.”
“….So few?”
“Yes. Only that many. A normal person cannot walk from the Banri Range to Ran Province. And what about a butterfly? When you look at it, it has such thin wings. They don’t have powerful ones like the migratory birds. They must mischievously grasp the winds, and with the least effort possible, fly upon them. Or hitch a ride on carriages or cows. I can somehow strongly identify with them, for how they shrewedly rely on the strength of others to thoroughly realize their goals. ”
Really Anju himself was like one of those butterflies. Perhaps he had been one in a previous life.
“Although they are clever, at times they must also work hard. When they’re crossing a vast lake, they can sometimes wait seven or ten days for a wind going in the right direction. But even if they do that much, only some tens make it to the end.”
Anju moved his drinking glass. [revise; 酒杯を揺らした is this supposed to mean he drank from it? ] He grinned a bit at the floating butterfly.
“It is not because they have seen that land, nor because they have been promised a paradise there. Probably, the butterflies themselves do not know where they are going. Even though there is nectar in the flowers where they are, they set off on their journey, to the far off land which they have never even seen. It as they’ve decided where to go before they were hatched.”
Only some tens finally arrived.
They ate poison, became butterflies, made use of others to fly high and far. While glancing to their side at the butterflies that fell behind. Only the chosen butterflies who possessed both luck and strength could go to that land.
Whose lives did theirs resemble, wondered Anju.
They themselves did not know where they were going, nor why they wished to go there. But, they had to go. And they were born knowing how to do it.
For that sake alone did they live and die.
“….It’s not that I hate those butterflies. But sometimes I just find them dismal.”
The fruit bowl was empty, the wine had been drunk. As if stopping Kochou from reaching for the bottle, Anju stood up with cat-like elegance. His rich, wavy hair covered his profile.
“Well, now I’ll be going. See you later, Kochou.”
Anju caught the black butterfly flying in front of him, and burned it in a nearby lamp. Some light smoke rose up, along with an unpleasant noise. It was a casual gesture, as if he were just burning some paper.
“I don’t hate them, but they’re a bit depressing.”
Still smiling the courteous smile he had worn from the beginning to the end [revise], he left the room with a wave of his hand.
…Just as he loved flowers and butterflies, he loved women. Just like the butterfly he had put an end to while saying “I don’t hate them.” Just like that. By this time, probably both the butterfly, and the woman bearing the name of a butterfly, had vanished from his head. “I don’t hate them.” That alone was nowhere near enough.
Kochou’s glance shifted. The dish that hadn’t been touched, and the completely empty fruit bowl. Things that he had no interest in, and those which he liked.
He only ate the foods he liked. His principles were clearly on display there. Although he seemed to be whimsical, his world was almost cruelly bisected. He could not satisfy himself by playing half heartedly. If his life was boring, he would make it interesting himself. That was his motto. Like those butterflies, he was always lowing at something else. And that was probably neither money, nor status, nor women either. Kochou herself did not know what it was, this obsession of his. Kochou carefully placed the corpse of the butterfly in her hand. She stood up to go and bury the pitiful butterfly.
That butterfly was almost like herself, she thought.
While Anju was getting into his carriage, he repeated his earlier words. Although he personally did not like them much.
“When heaven is about to confer a great office on someone, it first exercises their mind with suffering, and their sinews and bones with toil.” Perhaps that princess had been chosen by heaven. Perhaps Kouki, Seiga, and Anju too, were moving in accordance with the will of Heaven. However, not one among them had led an easy life. Like the migratory butterflies, they had passed through chill winds, and no matter who they had to bring down, had finally survived this far. [revise] ….They don’t know where they are going, nor why they are going there. Anju had said this to Kochou, but in the unseen depths of his heart, he had always known. That was why he had come this far. There was someplace he wished to journey to. There, would be the landscape he sought to see, in that world which he could not see now.
“Haha. What great office did heaven wish to confer upon the princess?”
After they arrived at their far off destination, the butterflies mated, and died right after laying their eggs.
…Perhaps Shuurei’s life resembled that of the butterflies the most. Anju and the others had time to wait for the winds that would carry them, but she had not waited. [revise] Its wings had been tattered in the violent winds and rains, and it continued to fly without resting.
Even if it arrived, it would never lay eggs, and could only eternally rest its ragged wings. Even the cruel, ogre-like Kouki would think that that was enough. If she was allowed to go on, that would definitely happen. Neither Kouki nor Anju especially wished to kill her.
“I should at least give her a choice.”
Whether this was heaven’s test or heaven’s mercy, Anju himself did not know. She would be the one to choose. There was a way to let the butterflies live out their days happily in a nearby field of flowers, even if they would never arrive at their promised destination.
Anju apologized for this [ごめんこうむる... Eh, this either means to say "thanks but no thanks" or "to seek the forgiveness of others." So it could mean "he turned it down himself"] but he did not think of it as a bad thing.
For those pitiful butterflies.
In the paradise within a cage.
Commentary:
‘Thus, when Heaven is about to confer a great office on any man, it first exercises his mind with suffering, and his sinews and bones with toil. It exposes his body to hunger, and subjects him to extreme poverty. It confounds his undertakings. By all these methods it stimulates his mind, hardens his nature, and supplies his incompetencies.
http://nothingistic.org/library/mencius/mencius24.html
Anju’s quote is from Mencius.